A blog where women are inspired and encouraged to grow in their relationship with Christ.

Saturday, September 22, 2012

The Big Surprise... Oh No!


What does it take for you to feel significant and valuable? Do you get your sense of worth from that long-worked-for college degree? Or perhaps you've always felt less valuable because you didn’t go to college? Maybe you get your sense of value from your job or how much money you make, how many friends you have, how you look, how your house looks, the clothes you wear, or the car you drive.  

Here's a big one for moms.  Do you get your sense of worth from how your children behave or what they accomplish? As moms, we invest so much of ourselves in our children that when they behave well, we feel so validated. And when they mess up, we can feel like failures.

When my son, Mark, was in preschool, he was really excited for the Mother’s Day program. The morning of the program I dressed him in an adorable new  outfit. He had his little “toys ‘r us” back pack on, and hand in hand, we walked to school. We moms were all seated, waiting for the program to begin. The little ones began walking into the room.They all looked so cute in their special little outfits. And then walked in... Mark.

Source
Well, he evidently had a few accessories in his cute little backpack that I didn’t know about. He proudly walked in with his coveted coonskin cap on his head, a pirate patch over one eye, and a toy gun stuffed down the front of his pants!  

Oh, but Mark wasn’t done surprising me that morning. The children had a song to sing. One of the little boys had been given the weighty task of keeping a steady beat on the drum while Mark, at the opposite end of the row, was wildly playing the air drum to a song that only he could hear!

Aah, but he still wasn’t done surprising me. You see, there was a poem... The children all recited in unison (complete with hand motions) this sweet poem about a seed that was planted in the ground. There was a spring rain, sunshine, and finally a beautiful flower grew out of the soil. All the little hand flowers were waving at their mommies. The poem was supposed to end there... 
(I really wish it had.)

Suddenly, Mark stood up and I heard my precious little armed, air drumming pirate with the coonskin cap announce:  “And then the poor flower... died. The end.”   

Well, at that point all the little girls gasped, and the little boys were rolling around on the floor laughing, which I’m sure is precisely the reaction Mark was looking for.  And I was on the front row trying to discreetly motion for him to s-i-t  d-o-w-n! 
(While trying to think of a way to convince everyone that "I'm just his caregiver and I really don't even know the family very well.")

Well, I have to tell you, walking home from that program I felt like a complete failure Why was my son the only child to behave like that?I was so embarrassed and I just knew that the other mothers must think I was a terrible mom.  

Fortunately for both Mark and myself, I quickly came to appreciate and enjoy his unique spin on life. But, I have to admit that there were times when I either saw myself as a failure or a success depending on how my children behaved or what they accomplished.
What about you? Today, where do you search for significance and worth? If you seek it from anyone or anything in this world, you will be very disappointed. The value that comes from things of this world is temporary and relative. You can mess up with your kids, lose your job, your home, or your looks. You can disappoint people and lose family and friends.
What is it in your life;  the thing, that if you lost it or really messed it up, would leave you feeling worthless and without value?
I love this!

"35Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?  Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 37No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.”  “38For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”   

 Christ's love gives us value. 
Nothing can separate us from His love. 
Nothing in all creation can take our God-given worth away.
Our significance comes from Him alone! 

What a relief and a comfort!  

 Has your sense of self-worth ever been shaken?
I'd love to hear from you!
 Living in His grace! 
Mary
P.S.  Mark is now 24 years old and I still have his coonskin cap! 
   I'd like to invite you to visit 
and treat yourself to a few minutes of enjoyable reads!

27 comments:

  1. Oh my goodness.... I just laughed sooo hard!
    One of the things I miss about working at the preschool was how funny some of the kids are!

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    1. I bet you have lots of fun stories having worked at a preschool! I'm so glad you stopped by today!

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  2. I'm sure this is funnier to me than to you--at least at the time. Maybe because I'm at the other end watching my daughter experience the same. I just grin at her and say, "you so deserve it." Your son will go far with that creativity rolling around in his head.

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    1. This story always makes me laugh... now. At the time, I wasn't quite sure what to do with my 'little darlin'! So thankful that he turned out to be a great guy! It sounds as though you're having fun watching your daughter navigate parenting. What fun!
      Thanks for stopping in!

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  3. Can't stop laughing! So funny! Can just see you and Mark in this scenario...how funny!

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    1. Julia, I'm glad you enjoyed it! Mark always kept us laughing!

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  4. How adorable! My 19 year old daughter was always well known for the tattered old black cowboy hat that she wore constantly. (Not at 19....more like 6!!) The ladies at the bank knew us by her hat, everyone at the stores knew us....it was quite a show all the time. She even had a swagger. She had such delicate features and strawberry blond long hair....

    Wow....I miss those days!!

    Blessings,
    Beth

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    1. Beth, I bet your daughter was adorable in her cowboy hat...such sweet memories! (I love the swagger!) I'm so glad you stopped in!

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  5. What a wonderful post! Thanks for sharing! It is so important to remember that our worth is found in Him! The verses you listed are my favorite verses! Thanks for stoppin by Simply Helping Him! Blessings!

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  6. Misty,it's so comforting to know that our worth comes from Him and nothing can take it away! Thanks for coming by!

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  7. Reading this and thinking about that song "Looking for love in all the wrong places..." Not the same place the song intended, but wrong nevertheless. Love comes from its source. Of course.

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    1. You're right about 'looking for love' and validation in all the wrong places... so easy to do! So thankful for the Source...of course! I'm glad you stopped by!

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  8. Our worth comes from knowing that we carry God, The Almighty God on our inside, what more can anyone desire?!
    As for our children, my three boys have at one time or the other done things that "embarrassed" me, and like you I used to let it get me under. But now I have realized that they are children, God's children and I can only teach, train, model and pray for them, and trust God to do that which only He can do.
    Thanks for sharing this truth Mary and thanks for coming by Teshuva today. Have a super blessed day!
    Love

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    1. Ugochi, you're so right... Our worth does come from 'knowing that we carry God' on the inside. I'm glad you came by today. God bless you!

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  9. The topic of "worth" and "identity" are both near and dear to me, as I blog about them regularly. That is a passionate topic. For so long, thinking my worth was established by anything I could possibly do led down an unwanted path. To know that my identity is secured in Christ, it's unearned but gifted, and that what He says about me trumps anything anyone, or even I, say about me blows me away!

    Great post. new follower from Harvest of Friends.

    Falen
    www.UpwardNotInward.com

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  10. It's a crazy important topic to me too! After struggling with diminished worth for so many years, it's such a weight lifted to know that He alone gives me worth! I'm so thankful for the work He's done in your life. He's so good to us!
    Thanks for coming by today!

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  11. Great post! I still struggle daily with finding my value, worth, and identity in Christ rather than other things.
    Tripped over here through your comment at UpwardNotInward. Now a follower!

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    1. I'm with you, Beckey! I struggle with it too. I'm so thankful that the Lord always finds ways to remind me from whence I get my worth! I'm glad you 'tripped' over! I'm headed to your site!

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  12. What a sweet story. I've been looking through Scripture for passages that convey God's love for us; it's amazing how much he rejoices over us! Thanks for visiting me at True Hope and a Future. I'm now following you through Google. I'd love for you to return the favor!

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  13. Lisa, I was blown away the first time I heard that He delights in me! His love is amazing! I'm so glad you visited. I'm on my way to follow you!

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  14. What a great story - and I wish I could say I don't rely on my kids' good behavior to make me feel like a good mom, good person, but there are times it happens - more than I want to admit... but learning to let it go is on my to-do

    Thanks for stopping by/following my reading list, I look forward to reading more here!

    Marissa
    http://forfunreadinglist.blogspot.com

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    1. Marissa, You're not alone, I think most moms struggle with this! I'm so glad you made it by!

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  15. oh my gosh I love this!!! SO been there. My little boy is just hitting the tantrum stage and sometimes I look around and wonder why none of his little friends act crazy like he does! It's always a relief when I see another kid misbehaving :P sounds bad but it's true! lol

    this was a great post. I loved it. following you now :)

    this is a post a wrote about comparing kids a few weeks ago, I thought you might like it because it's very similar to this post :)

    http://www.hopefulfuture.blogspot.com/2012/09/comparing-kids-confessions-of-imperfect.html

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  16. Trust me, you're not alone! I totally understand how comforting it can be to know your little guy isn't the only one being a little, shall we say, rambunctious! As encouragement... my strong-willed sons have grown into fabulous guys. (Ok,so I'm their mom...I get to brag a little!) I'm so glad you stopped by. I'm off to visit your site!

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    1. I forgot to thank you for following! Thanks so much!

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