A blog where women are inspired and encouraged to grow in their relationship with Christ.

Monday, July 1, 2013

A Gift For My Husband ♥


This week is my husband's birthday!  Yay!  I see it as an opportunity to buy this fabulous man a much needed, new robe!  Now, the robe I'm about to replace is an ancient, {I'm talking ooold} thread-bare, holey, frayed, almost transparent, falling apart, ready-for-the-rag-bag mess.  Yep, that's how I see it.

Of course, my husband thinks his robe is the coziest, softest, most comfy, closest thing to perfection our Lord's ever created.  Unfortunately, I really don't think it will last through another wash. {darn!}  

The other night I stopped myself from doing a happy dance when he held up his tattered, beloved robe and bemoaned that even he thinks it's time for the rag-bag.  {Oh yes, I'm doing a happy dance in my head!}

Well, after a lot of looking and praying, I finally found a robe I know he'll like!  It's the same color, same material and the same style as his old robe!  It's going to be so fun to see him tear through the wrapping paper and open the box!

Now, here's where my ADD mind made the jump to today's topic.  As I was thinking of how  super-pleased my guy's going to be when he's enveloped in this snazzy, perfect, like-old, new robe... my thoughts hopped to... what he'd really love is to be enveloped by the gift of your admiration!  {OK Lord, I hear you!}

Yes, I admit that lately I've caught myself saying things to my husband {for his own good, of course!} that could be construed as critical.  OK, I admit it; there's nothing construed about it!  I've been a little naggy lately... And I know better!  And I hate it! 

So, I'm definitely writing this to myself.  Yes, I've written about it before, but I obviously need to hear it again.   And perhaps you need to hear it too. :)

In Ephesians 5:33, we’re told to respect our husbands.  The Greek word for respect is phobeo.  It means… wait for it… to be in awe of, to revere. We’re supposed to put a high value on our men.  When was the last time you made your man feel you were in awe of him?!  {She asks herself!}
One way to place a high value on our men is
 to pursue them through admiration. 

Our men have a huge need to be admired.  
 They’ll probably never say, “Honey, I need your admiration.”   
But we may hear them say, “Stop being so critical.”  {Hhmm, Mary?}
 
If our guys feel unappreciated, we may find that they're
easily angered or they pull away and are emotionally removed.

They need to know that we're their 
biggest cheerleader  not their biggest critic.
 
Some things we can do:

1.  Pray and ask God to help you develop a deep reverence for your husband.  And then, as you revere him, ask our Abba Father to help you find ways to pursue him through admiration. 

2.  Sincerely compliment him in front of others: your children, his/your parents, friends, and other men.

3.   When he’s with a group of men at church, pass by and say, “Hi handsome”...  and keep on walking.  Trust me, the other men will wonder what your husband’s got that they don’t ‘got’!  And your man will stand a little straighter with a twinkle in his eye… for you!  {I talked about this in an earlier post, but I really think it bears repeating!}
 
4. Tell him you appreciate all his hard work.  When your man’s on the job, chances are good that he gets very little affirmation.  He’ll usually hear when he's done something wrong, but rarely when he’s done something right. {Just like at home?!}

5. If your husband’s out of work or refuses to work, think of a quality that he has that would be an asset in a career, and admire him for it.  {good with people, tactful, organizational skills etc.}

6.  Don't be critical!   Just. don't. do. it! {Mary, I'm talking to you!}

7. Tell him he’s handsome.  Not that he looks handsome in that shirt… That he’s handsome!  How it's said makes a difference!

8. When you walk by, feel his biceps.  Chances are good he’ll automatically flex.  

9. Tell him you appreciate the size and strength of his hands.

10. Tell him he’s a hunk.

11. Yes, compliment his mind, creativity, and intellect... But don't forget to admire his physical assets. :)  Really.

12Don't make a joke out of him.  You know what I mean.

13.  Don't contradict him in front of others. {including especially in front of your children} You don't like it, why would he?  Wait until you're alone to discuss 'it'.

If because of past hurts it’s difficult to show your husband admiration, or it’s difficult to think of any qualities to admire; start small.  Today, right now, think of one small thing that you like about your husband.  Do you like the color of his eyes?  Then start there.  Do you like his smile?  Then begin there.  Do you like the way he maneuvers the car in traffic?  There you go.  Really. Don’t move on until you’ve thought of something.  Now, ask God to soften your heart and to give you the courage to tell him


Life can get crazy busy.  Pursue him anyway.

Life can be frustrating and disappointing.  Pursue him 
through it.

The feeling of love may be withering.  Pursue him like crazy.

The children are wearing you out.  Pursue him in little ways.

Let your fountain be blessed,
 and rejoice with the wife of your youth. 
As a loving deer and a graceful doe, 
let her breasts satisfy you at all times;
and always be enraptured with her love.  
Proverbs 5:18,19

Let's be the kind of women that our husbands delight in.
Let's be the wives that enrapture them with our love!

What do you admire about your husband?
How do you show him admiration?
When was the last time you told him how much you appreciate him?
Are you having trouble thinking of anything to admire?  
Right now, think of just one small thing that you like about your husband. 
I'd love to hear your thoughts!
Leave a comment!
Living in His grace,
  Mary  
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50 comments:

  1. Oh, Mary, I needed to hear this today! And I really appreciate how you tell on yourself, too. :) It softens the blow a little when we realize how guilty we are. Thanks for sharing this.
    Jen :)

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    1. Jen, I'm so glad it helped! I certainly needed to remind myself of a few harsh truths!
      I'm so glad you came by!
      Blessings to you, my friend ~ Mary

      Delete
  2. Wow, such great advice! Ironically, I posted something similar this week too! I guess us wives need to be encouraged to remember that those men of ours need respect and admiration often...God made them that way and he made US with the ability to build them up! What an honor...yet how often I neglect the privilege! Thanks for your great reminders and insight. As always, I have been greatly encouraged by you! :)

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    1. Summer, you're so right! I think we wives need reminders to honor our husbands in ways that build them up and spur them on to be Christ followers and great husbands.
      I'm on my way over to read your post!
      I appreciate you being here!
      Blessings to you, my friend ~ Mary

      Delete
  3. I like it that you pray about the gift you buy for your husband.

    Fondly,
    Glenda

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    1. Glenda, I'm not a great gift-giver, so I always ask God for His help! :)
      Blessings to you ~ Mary

      Delete
  4. You can do all of this things, even if you have been married for 34 years!
    Especially, if you've been married for 34 years!!

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    1. Christine, congratulations on 34 years of marriage! That's awesome! Yes, it doesn't matter how long we've been married, our husbands still have a huge need to be admired!
      Thanks so much for coming by!
      Blessings to you ~ Mary

      Delete
  5. I love how the present of the robe brought this great lesson. Love when God uses the ordinary, everyday to teach us spiritual truths. I needed this lesson.

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    1. Susanne, it seems as though God loves to use the 'little' to teach important truths.
      I'm so glad you came by!
      Blessings to you ~ Mary

      Delete
  6. #3 is THE best!
    I clean the shop where he works, and lately I've been getting there before all the men get back from their jobs. As soon as I realize Jason is back, I go out to the main part, get his attention, and tell him hi, or I love you, or sometimes just blow him a kiss. And then just go back to cleaning with a smile on my face, knowing that he is smiling too.

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    1. You're very welcome, Annie Kate! It's good to have you here!
      Blessings to you ~ Mary

      Delete
  8. You give amazing and simple tasks for wives to help out their husbands, thanks you! Linking up from Rachel Wojo.

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    1. Thanks for coming by, Sarah. Sometimes we wives just need a little reminder... I know I do! :)
      Blessings to you ~ Mary

      Delete
  9. How I love posts like this, Mary, reminding us of how to best love and serve our husbands. As a child growing up in an alcoholic home, I never saw the right relational things modeled and it has been a long, hard road to get to the place where I am now with a truly good and Godly man who loves me like crazy.

    I admire my Michael's kindness, graciousness and patience and especially I respect how much He loves Jesus and longs to serve Him better by laying down his life for me. And I love how Michael's love and care for me is transforming me daily into that Proverbs 31 woman that he and my Lord delight in.

    Thanks so much for sharing. Am liking your FB page so I can keep up with your posts. I am visiting from Jennifer Dukes Lee linkup. Blessings...And Happy Birthday to your hubby!

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    1. Oh Sheila, I'm so glad you shared a piece of your story. {It sounds a lot like my own!} Your Michael sounds like a wonderful Jesus-loving man; I'm sure he'd say he is blessed to have you! :)
      Thanks for coming by: I'm on my way over!
      Blessings to you ~ Mary

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  10. What a wealth of great ideas! I can't wait to try the "handsome" idea!! I am also visiting from Jennifer Dukes Lee.

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    1. Mary, the 'handsome idea' is sooo fun!
      Have a great time with it!
      Blessings to you ~ Mary

      Delete
    2. Thanks Mary! I think you're guy's going to like the 'handsome idea'!
      It's a lot of fun! :)
      Thanks for coming by!
      Blessings to you ~ Mary

      Delete
  11. I needed this reminder, Mary. I didn't grow up in a very affirming family, so I've struggled in my marriage to offer that to my hubby on a regular or consistent basis. But it's so crucial! I know I need those words of encouragement and praise to persevere and do my best. I'm going to make a point to do this more today and every day. Thanks for the gentle nudge and for linking this incredible post up at Wedded Wed, my friend!

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    1. Beth, I needed this reminder as well! I think when we haven't grown up with affirmation, it can be difficult to think in those terms. It's not that we don't or can't affirm, it's just not on the radar! I'm so thankful that God continually sanctifies us: making us look more like Him!
      Thanks so much for coming by!
      Blessings to you ~ Mary

      Delete
  12. I accidentally deleted this post from Kendra ~ A Proverbs 31 Wife! I'm so sorry!

    #3 is THE best!
    I clean the shop where he works, and lately I've been getting there before all the men get back from their jobs. As soon as I realize Jason is back, I go out to the main part, get his attention, and tell him hi, or I love you, or sometimes just blow him a kiss. And then just go back to cleaning with a smile on my face, knowing that he is smiling too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kendra, I'm so sorry for deleting your comment!

      I love that you give your Jason something so smile about on the job! I'm sure his co-workers wonder... I'm just sayin'! :)
      Thanks so much for sharing this today... I love it!

      Delete
  13. This post was spot on, absolutely necessary, and right on time.. Thanks!

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    1. Well Ren, God just seems to work that way! I'm glad you came by!
      Blessings to you, my friend ~ Mary

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  14. Dear Mary
    You are not just talking to yourself, dear one! I think we should all read this post a few times and TAKE NOTE! I am especially guilty because often I allow my illness to make me neglect this most precious relationship. Thanks for reminding us.
    Much love XX
    Mia

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    1. Oh Mia, I know how easy it can be to neglect nurturing the relationship with our husbands when we don't feel well. Perhaps this will encourage both of us to remember to speak life-giving words of admiration to our guys.
      Much love to you, my friend ~ Mary

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  15. The children are wearing me out, Mary. :) Wonderful reminders, here, some of which I wrote about on my blog...over a year ago. Seriously, I was just telling my husband today how much I appreciate something he does for all of us. It felt good to me, and I'm sure it made him feel good.

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    1. Meghan, I love that even though the children are wearing you out, you're taking time to tell your guy how much you appreciate him! Way to go!
      Blessings to you ~ Mary

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  16. Yes ... To be our husband's "biggest cheerleader and not his biggest critic." What an encouraging, inspiring list of ideas to encourage the men in our lives. Well done, Mary!

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    1. Thanks Jennifer! It's so easy to criticize... it takes a little more effort to be a cheerleader, but it's so worth it!
      Thanks so much for coming by!
      Blessings to you ~ Mary

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  17. OHHHHHHH yes! It is such a 'choice' to be aware of what we are doing or acting or saying to our husbands. It matters so much!

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    1. You're so right, Marlece... It means the world to our husbands!
      Thanks for visiting!
      Blessings to you, my friend ~ Mary

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  18. Hi Mary! Ok...I did giggle a little at your idea to tell my husband that he is a 'hunk'. But hey, he is to me! I know I have to work on not being so negative, and your post gives me constructive ways to do that.

    Another great, timely post my friend!

    Happy Friday,
    Ceil

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    1. Hi Ceil! It's so easy to fall into the role of critic, isn't it? I'm sure your guy would love to hear that he's YOUR hunk! :)
      Blessings to you ~ Mary

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  19. Happy birthday to your husband. I hope he enjoys his robe. Thanks for this good list of practical ways to make our husbands feel special. For many years in our marriage, I accepted my husband's compliments about my appearance but didn't realize how important those same compliments were to him. I like your suggestions to say he's handsome (and in front of people too).
    : )

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    1. Thanks for the happy birthday to my husband! He LOVES his new robe! You should definitely try the 'handsome' idea... It's so fun!!
      Thanks for coming by!
      Blessings to you ~ Mary

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  20. Mary, you give me the best word when I need it the most. Lovely post, have a beautiful weekend!!

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    1. Thanks Ashley! I know I certainly needed to hear it! God's so good to open our ears at just the right time!
      I'm so glad you came by!!
      Blessings to you, my friend ~ Mary

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  21. I LOVE love love this list. I'm going to make an effort to do more of #2 and #3.

    XOXO,
    Meredith

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    1. Thank you Meredith! I know your husband will appreciate more #2 and #3!! {I know mine has!} :)
      Blessings to you ~ Mary

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  22. Mary, this is such a wonderful post. I couldn't say this the way you have and in such a humble way admitting that you haven't arrived yet either. Thanks so much for sharing this over at WholeHearted Home this past week.

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    1. Judith, thank you for your kind words and encouragement.
      I really appreciate your posts and WHH! You're doing a great job!
      Blessings to you, dear friend ~ Mary

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  23. I have been praying about HOW to respect my husband more and then I "stumbled" onto your blog. With this perfect post. I'd say it was a God thing! I'd love to follow you via facebook but I didn't see a link. I'd love you to come by theunraveledmom.com and leave me a comment with your link. I was really blessed by your words today. Thank you!!!

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    1. Hi Susan! Don't you just love the way God has us 'stumble' onto things! :)
      I'm so glad you found a little something to bless your husband with!
      I'll stop by and leave my FB link. Thanks for coming by!
      Blessings to you~ Mary

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  24. So lovely mary <3 i also love my husband, my husband is my hero. :)

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    1. I'm so glad to hear that your husband is your beloved hero! :)
      Thanks for coming by!
      Blessings to you ~ Mary

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  25. Excellent article. I needed to read this today! Thank you for linking it up. We all need to be reminded of this soooooo often!

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    1. Thanks Rosilind! I know I need frequent reminders!
      Thanks so much for coming by!
      Blessings to you ~ Mary

      Delete

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