What Your Man Really Needs

Last week in Walmart, I was drawn to the laughter of three women in the shampoo aisle. I found my{nosy}self inching closer to hear what caused such a fun sounding outburst.  What I heard made me angry and made me sad.  These women were having a blast taking turns making fun of their husbands.  Not in a "He's so cute when his hair stands on end in the morning." kind of way... But a cutting, "He's so stupid." kind of way.   

Let's face it. Most of us are highly skilled magnifiers.  We're great at applauding and magnifying the smallest  accomplishments of our children. They color inside the lines for the first time and we frame the picture!  

We're equally great at complaining about and magnifying those irritating habits of our husbands.  You know what I'm talking about... Those things that, when said out loud sound so trivial, but when dealt with day after day, seem HUGE.

• He always leaves his socks on the floor by his chair in the family room. 
• His clothes never quite make it past a pile on the floor, or flung across the end of the bed.
• He doesn't replace the empty toilet paper roll.  {Really, what's with that?!}
• He gets too near the washing machine and washes his red shirt with the whites.  {This may or may not have just happened in my house!}

I've found that the best way to alleviate that 
angry knot in your stomach is to find 

something else to magnify...

 

His good qualities need to be magnified.

 He needs to be admired.

This is what I suggest to women I counsel {and to myself!}...

Every day find something to admire about 
your man, and tell him. 

He needs to hear it.  He goes to work each day, rarely, 

if ever hearing a 'well done'. He needs to be built up.

He needs your sincere admiration... 

Yes, he can sense when it's not sincere. 

It needs to be concrete.  
Saying "Honey, you're a great guy." is nice, but won't be remembered for long.  "Babe, when you change the baby's diapers, it makes me want to... "  This is where you can get creative!  Trust me, he'll change those diapers with even more frequency!
 
Sometimes it needs to be in public.

If (say, in church) you walk up to your guy while he's talking to a group of men, you might try saying something like this...  "Hi Handsome." And just walk on.  Trust me, the other men will wonder what he's got that they don't...  I'm just sayin'.

He needs you to admire his body.
Let's face it, not every husband has a perfectly cut body.  But he loves and needs you to appreciate and compliment his 'manly physique'.  His tummy may not be the six-pack he had when you first got married, but oh those shoulders, or hands, or muscles, or... please use your imagination!  If you squeeze his biceps and tell him you love his strength... Trust me, he'll flex for you!

He needs a heavy dose of provision appreciation.
You've probably noticed that when women initially meet, they usually end up talking about their children, husbands, or friends.  {Love those conversations!}  When men meet, they invariably talk about 'what they do' (for a living).  A man's identity is largely wrapped up in how he provides for his family. 

He needs to hear {OFTEN} how much you appreciate

 his desire to meet the family's needs.

It's amazing how, when we begin to magnify our man's
 admirable qualities, our irritation diminishes.  
We begin to see our husbands through the 
eyes of our Maker... it's a very good thing.  

We are blessed.

Our men are blessed.

God is blessed.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble,

whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely,

whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or 

praiseworthy--think about such things.

Philippians 4:8

 

I'd love to hear what you admire about your man!!

Leave a comment!

Living in His grace, 

Mary

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