Do You Want To Love Him More?

Have you ever felt this way?  I find myself crying out to God that I want to love Him more.  And despite spending time in His word, talking with Him throughout the day, worshiping Him through thought, song, and deed, and trying {and often failing} to obey Him, I find it's not enough.  I'm just so inadequate in my ability to love Him... more.

What I find is:

The more I read His word, understand and absorb into my soul how much He loves me, the more I'm compelled to love Him.  But I find myself still wanting to love Him more.

The more I talk with Him throughout the day... When I'm working, cleaning, pulling weeds, washing clothes, making dinner, the more I'm compelled to love Him.  But I hear that whisper in my soul: more love.

The more I pray for others and myself and ask for and receive His mercy and forgiveness, the more I'm compelled to love Him.  And yet again, I hear: more love to Me.

And then I read Romans 5:5 and I begin to understand.  Of course I feel inadequate in my ability to love the Lord enough.  Because my own ability to love Him will always be inadequate.  

What I realize is that I'm very limited in my ability to love.  Yes, I love my husband, children, granddaughter {I'll be glad to show you pictures!} family and friends with an intense, profound love.  But God?  My Abba Father, Christ Jesus, and Holy Spirit?  

The love I need for my God is so much... more.  It's the kind of love that only the Holy Spirit can pump my heart full of.  Glory to our God!  He is more than able; He is so willing to fill my inadequate heart with His all-I-could-ever-need-ask-for-or-imagine love!

And so today, I ask the Holy Spirit to flood our hearts to-overflowing with His love.  A love that only He can give.  A love that you and I can't 'work on', conjure up, manufacture or practice.  A lavish love that is beyond natural and will enable us to love Him... more and more and more!!

How about you?  
Are you fine where you are?
Do you want to love Him more? or 
Do you want to want to love Him more?
I'd love to hear from you! 
Leave a comment!

Living in His grace,

  Mary  

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How I Met My Husband

I was a young woman, living on my own in a small, sparsely furnished apartment.  For years I had supported myself and paid my way through college by working long hours managing a Fine Jewelry dept in a large department store.

I had previously been in two long-term relationships; neither was healthy or God-pleasing.  I did come to know my Lord and Savior through the first young man, and for that, I’ll be forever grateful.

I was very much ‘involved’ with the second man. But from the very beginning, even as a new Christ follower, I knew in my heart that God was not pleased with this unequally-yoked relationship.  And so, in obedience to what I knew He was telling me, I, with a breaking heart, walked away.

For six months I spent every spare minute away from work and school, praying and reading His life-giving, heart-healing word.  It was one of the sweetest times I can remember... sitting on the floor in that little apartment, just me, my Bible, and my Lord.  It was the first time in my life that I experienced... soul deep joy.  How wonderful was that of my loving God?!

Oh, but listen to this!  One day, I was at a manager’s meeting and we were introduced to the new jewelry buyer who had just been transferred back to his hometown of Indianapolis.  His name was John. The first things I noticed about John were his ‘kind’ eyes and easy smile. Oh yes, there was potential here!

Over the next few weeks John made several trips out to my store, bringing more and more and more jewelry, until the cases were bursting with gold, watches, and precious stones.  I'm sure I had the most well-stocked store in the district!  Each time he came, we would stand over the diamond case talking about everything... and nothing. {Fortunately, business was slow!}

I was beginning to really like this guy, but was seriously wondering if he was ever going to ask me out! After several weeks, he finally wrestled up enough courage {he was afraid I'd say 'No'!} to ask me out for something to drink after work.  We sat at a restaurant, drinking iced tea until two in the morning.  For hours we talked about our faith, our families; we laughed and talked some more.  And so it began.

He would call every Tuesday night at 10:00 to ask me out for the weekend.  We would usually talk until one in the morning.  Saturday night was date night and would finally end at one or two a.m.  After way too little sleep, I'd  meet him bright and early Sunday morning for church.  It’s amazing how young love requires so little sleep! {I'd never be able to do that now!}
 

We spent a year getting to know each other and spending time with our families.  I spent so much time on my knees, asking my Father for clarity and direction.  I didn't want to get it wrong... again.  What God revealed in so many ways, was that John and I were absolutely... right.  Oh yes, he was the one!  He was kind, strong, funny, loving, caring, and most importantly, he had a soul-deep love for the Lord.  We made a covenant with our merciful God on May 1st, 31 years ago. 

As I look back, I see how my loving Father gave me the strength and determination to walk away from those outside of His plan... A plan that graciously brought healing to my heart and John into my life. 
 

John and I have certainly had our highs and lows; we've laughed together,  argued together, cried together, and grieved together. Through God's grace, we're still learning how to love one another well.  But through it all, we've remained committed to each other and determined to protect the covenant we made with our Lord, 31 years ago... from this day forward.  Oh, how I love this man!

I'd love to hear how you met your husband!

Leave a comment!

 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord,

"plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Jeremiah 29:11

Living in His grace, 

Mary

What A Day!

Source

What a day! 

I’ve been feeling really crummy lately and was directed by my doctor to have some blood-work done. So I dutifully, albeit reluctantly, took a little trip to the hospital and generously gave a few vials of my life’s-blood. Well, before I could get back home, the hospital had called the Dr.’s office, and the Dr.’s office had left an urgent message on my phone.  Hhmmm...  I was told not to do anything strenuous (as if I could right now!) because my potassium level was ‘dangerously low’.  Hhmmm again...  They prescribed some potassium (they want to see if that works before trying an IV). I’ve been on the potassium for a few days and will re-test this week. I’m praying it makes a huge difference!

Same day, four hours later...

My husband came home, shoulders slumped, face serious.  Uh-oh.  He sat down next to me, gently took my hand, and explained that the corporate office of the company he works (ed) for, executed a national down-size, and his department was dissolved. Plain-speak? He has joined the ever-growing ranks of the unemployed. Well Darn.  It’s not the first time we’ve been here. My heart aches for my husband. I really don’t want to see him have to go through this yet again. 

Same day, one hour later...

We cried out to the One who loves us.  He heard our prayers, and generously gave us His peace. Have I wavered since then? Oh yes. Every once in a while fear grips my chest. But I immediately take those “what in the world are we going to do?” thoughts captive. And like David, I remind myself just who my God is and who I am because of Him. We belong to Him and He will absolutely, positively, without a doubt take care of us.

Thank you Father for Your peace, for Your provision, for Your life-giving Word, for the assurance of Your love. I am so grateful. Amen.

 Living in His grace, 

Mary                                           

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Journal Entry: A Thirsty Soul

Do you ever feel dissatisfied with life?  I do. There are days that I find myself craving something…..more.  I walk through my days with an unsettled, dissatisfied feeling.  I ponder what would bring more satisfaction to my life.  Could it possibly be:  more affirming words from my husband and friends, better health, more close friendships, more involvement in church and community, listening to more Christian music, living closer to my children, a better car, more money?  There are sooo many possibilities-- some may be valid, and none are necessarily ‘bad’.  

“Oh God, You are my God, earnestly I seek You; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs 
for You, in a dry and weary land, where there is no water. Psalm 63:1

And yet, when I have moments of stark clarity, I know beyond doubt what this craving for more is.  I know that it is a passionate plea from my thirsty soul for more God.  A soul desperate for more intimacy with its creator.   A soul that cannot be satisfied with even the very best  this world has to offer.  

 

“You open your hand and satisfy the desires 

of every living thing”. 

Psalms 145:16

And so, rejoicing, I lift my hands and thank Him for once again mercifully reminding me that when I crave more, He is willing, able, and wanting to saturate my thirsty soul with more of Himself!

Perhaps your soul, like mine, is thirsty for more…  I pray that we will look to our God to satisfy our souls.  His love is unfailing!

Love and blessings, 

Mary

I'd love to hear from you!