Gracious Body-Talk

 What does your body language have to do with hospitality?  

When you think of showing hospitality at this time of the year, you might think of having people into your home and creating a welcoming and comfortable atmosphere. You might make sure the bathroom is presentable, take extra care when setting the table, serve a hearty meal, and try to engage each person in conversation.   

Some people are a natural fit and easy to relate to, and some are a little tougher to get to know and may not immediately feel comfortable with you.  For the people in your life that you're having to work a little harder to connect with, here are a few 'tidbits' that might make it easier... 

 

An important piece in creating a welcoming atmosphere and forming 

‘real’ relationships is the awareness of non-verbal communication... 

Body language. 

We live in a culture of social media, texting, emailing, tweeting, and phone conversations... all non-visual  forms of communication.  Because we engage in so much non-visual communication, it can become easy to forget the immense impact of the non-verbal.  Our bodies can speak very loudly!

 

What are you saying without words to others, and 

what are others saying without words to you?

Developing the ability to ‘read’ someone’s posture, facial expressions, and gestures helps you to get to know the ‘real’ person and enables you to help set them at ease, feel welcome and comfortable .

This is by no means meant to be universal, all-inclusive or diagnostic.  

 It’s simply a fun way to become more aware of how you 
present yourself to others and become more attuned
 to the 'person' behind the body language. 

1.  How can you encourage the 'hesitant talker' to feel comfortable enough to open up and converse?  

Leaning slightly toward them (without invading personal space) and making eye contact tells a person that you’re carefully listening and interested in what they have to say.  It says, "You matter... You're important".  

Years ago I knew a woman who was fabulous at this. She made me feel that whatever  I said was incredibly important... simply by leaning forward, making eye contact and being present with me.  I've never forgotten her...

2.  If you see a person with a finger (many times the index) in their mouth, they may be feeling under pressure or insecure and in need of reassurance.  (Or perhaps it's time to get them to the dinner table, pronto!)

3.  When a guest begins to support her head with her hand it could signal that she’s becoming bored with the conversation.  It might be time to change the subject!

4.  Folded arms may signify a number of attitudes and feelings. 

·   Arms folded across the chest may indicate a negative or defensive attitude.  Often, when someone feels unsure or insecure, they may cross their arms in front of their chest or across their abdomen.  We can probably each identify with this... I don't think there's a woman alive who doesn't have some insecurities.  Most of us have a boat load!    (Of course, it could also just mean that she's cold!)

5.  Hands on hips may signify confidence or aggression.

If someone enters your home with arms folded across their chest (perhaps indicating insecurity or nervousness) how might they feel if you approach them with hands on your hips?  They will likely feel intimidated and defensive, resulting in holding their arms even more tightly across their chest.  To approach her with arms hanging loosely at your sides or arms slightly bent- palms up, and a warm smile, may help to dispel her nervousness.

6.  Eye contact is HUGE! 
 

·   Maintaining easy eye contact (not an intense stare!) may convey that you’re interested in them and that you’re ‘present’.  If someone is having difficulty meeting your eyes, it may be due to shyness or insecurity.  (In some cases it may be due to shame or guilt.)   It’s a perfect opportunity to lavish a little more attention upon them, letting them know that you’re pleased they’re in your home.

7.  What's a great way to invite conversation?  Sitting with legs uncrossed and hands laying loosely in your lap, palms up, will tell your guests that you’re open to conversation, without barriers. 

 

    

  How might you engage

 these ladies  to make them feel 

welcome  and comfortable

 in your home?

   I hope this has

 been a fun look 

     at some non-verbal ways to help 

you connect more 

deeply with those 

around you.

I'd love to hear your tips for making others

feel welcome and comfortable in your home!

 

"9 Cheerfully share your home with those who need a meal or a place to stay.   

10 God has given each of you a gift from His great variety of spiritual gifts.  

Use them well to serve one another."

1 Peter 4:9 NLT

Living in His grace,

 Mary

  
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