A little girl can be bathed with sweet words of hope and encouragement and become a woman of strength and character with a heart desperate for our Lord. Or, she can be singed with hurt-filled words and become a woman-child, insecure and always searching for... something to drown out the echoes of the 'you're not good enough's'.
A little boy can be washed with empowering words of integrity, love and strength, and become a man of fierce loyalty and determination with a heart filled with the love of Jesus. Or, he can be scalded with impatient, belittling words and become a man-child, full of anger and always searching for... something to make him feel 'enough'.
When my children were young I would cry out to the Lord begging forgiveness for using impatient, no-thought words. Motherhood can be so exhausting, so frustrating. How could I possibly have kind, patient words when we're running late for the Doctor's appointment and one son can't find his shoes, and the other son decides he doesn't want to go and stages a sit-in.
OK, What Now Lord?
It's at these very moments that our words can be life-giving or life-destroying. Loving, patient, kind, wise words aren't born overnight. They come from a heart tempered over time and experience, through deep relationship with God. Yes, it's a heart issue.
"A good person produces good things from the treasure of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasure of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart. Luke 6:45
God gives such wonderful, practical instruction. This is straight from 2 Timothy 2:22-25:
1. It's time to look those immature 'ideals' of what life is supposed to look like in the eye, and tell them to get lost. Longing for the perfect house, husband, children, waistline... you get the picture, isn't beneficial or realistic. It makes us discontent and... crabby!
2. Run after righteousness } actively pursue and join with those who are in sincere and serious prayer before God. That's right! You need to find someone to hit their knees with you in prayer. It makes a difference!
3. Stop yourself from getting sucked into ridiculous arguments... They usually e.s.c.a.l.a.t.e!
4. Be intentional about replacing your impatient, angry attitude with {deep breath} calmness.
5. Slow down and take the time to be a gentle listener and teacher.
6. Be patient but firm when bringing correction.
7. Remember, it's not all in your hands... God is working on changing their hearts {and yours}.
You've got to read this! It's so cool!
"Run away from infantile indulgence. Run after mature righteousness-faith, love, peace-joining those
who are in honest and serious prayer before God. Refuse to get involved in inane discussions;
they always end up in fights. God's servant must not be argumentative, but a gentle
listener and a teacher who keeps cool, working firmly but patiently with those
who refuse to obey. You never know how or when God might sober
them up with a change of heart and turning to the truth..."
2 Timothy 2:22-25 (The Message)
Words are to be used to build up not tear down.
Please use your words wisely when speaking to:
yourself
your husband
your children
your friends
strangers
"As God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with
compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience..."
Colossians 3:12
Mary
What you have to say is so important!
Leave a comment!
What beautiful words for moms, I needed this today.
ReplyDeleteThanks Ashley. I'm so glad it hit the spot! {Actually, I seem to need it most days!}
DeleteThanks for stopping in!
Blessings to you ~ Mary
Oh, this is so needed. We raised our daughters with praise--when deserved and encouragement when not. Sometimes my words asked forgiveness for haste unkind words. Children are so forgiving. Like our Heavenly Father.
ReplyDeletePamela, our words are so important... so powerful. It's wonderful to hear that your daughters were raised with praise and encouragement. I'm sure they've been richly blessed.
DeleteBlessings to you ~ Mary
Great post! There is such a fine balance, though, between offering praise/encouragement/love and pouring it on too much. On one hand we want our children to know our love as well as the love of the Lord -- to know that they are valued, but at the same time we don't want them to grow up thinking they are the center of the universe, deserving of praise for every little thing they do. We want to build them up, but not to the point where they think they are demigods. But I think that all comes down to keeping the praise balanced with an education in His word so that they know that life isn't about them, but about God :)
ReplyDeleteYou are so right that the words we use matter! We must remember that the words of praise we choose are just as important as praising our children at all -- I believe in praising their hard work and showing gratitude for their help, rather than focusing on their being smart, as the latter can actually hinder children from trying new things if they aren't naturally good at it.
Thanks so much for the post - look forward to reading more!
April, I couldn't agree more. There is a balance to be had between praise/encouragement and raising future narcissists. Words of encouragement toward our children should ultimately point them toward our Creator and their ability and calling to serve Him. Thanks so much for your thoughtful comment. I really appreciate it.
DeleteBlessings to you ~ Mary
Thank you for sharing this! It's just what I needed after dealing with a difficult 9-year-old before school this morning. God bless you and your ministry.
ReplyDeleteFound you from cornerstoneconfessions linkup.
Thanks Stacy! I'm so glad to hear that it may have helped a little. I'm on my way over to your site. Thanks for linking up and leaving a comment!
DeleteBlessings to you ~ Mary
A good message for anyone. A WONDERFUL message for moms. Especially one dealing with a difficult, testosterone-y, moody 14 year old boy home from school today.
ReplyDeleteOoohh Becky, I've experienced those days with the moodiness of a 14 year old. Some days he's still the precious boy you've always known, and some days, between the hormones and the 'trying to figure out how to grow up' he can be very frustrating. So thankful for God's presence, direction, and help with our/His children.
DeleteBlessings to you ~ Mary
Powerful! Convicting! Thank you! May our words pour grace on our children...Amen!
ReplyDeleteJen, Amen to your Amen! May our words pour grace on our children... and every person who crosses our path! Thanks so much for your site and UNITE... you touch so many lives.
DeleteBlessings to you, friend ~ Mary
Mary this was a wonderful post filled with wisdom. Thank you so much for sharing. The verse was great to read in The Message. I am glad I met you today. I came over from the linky at Time Warp Woman. I hope you get a chance to visit me too! Have a wonderful evening.
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Sherry
Sherry, I only occasionally read The Message version, but when I came across 2 Timothy 2:22-25, it just really struck me how appropriately it could be applied to our behavior towards our children. I'm so glad you came by this evening. I'd love to come for a visit!
DeleteBlessings to you ~ Mary
Hi dear Mary
ReplyDeleteYes, we cannot emphasize enough the power to break down or build- up, contained in our words. I think we should all tone down on talking and listen more, truly hearing what another wants to share. It is one thing to listen, quite another to truly hear! Last time I checked, we had one mouth and TWO ears!
Much love
Mia
Hi Mia! Oh, I so agree. The life-giving words we speak and the ability to really HEAR someone's words and heart helps us to really KNOW that person/child/husband...
DeleteI always love your encouraging comments!
God Bless you my dear sister!
Just beautiful. Word are so powerful and can be used to encourage or discourage. Let's be the encouragers.
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Janis
Janis, Yes! Let's be the one to speak a word of encouragement and life!
DeleteI'm so glad you came by today. I'm looking forward to participating in your new linkup!
Blessings to you ~ Mary
Mary,
DeleteThanks for joining the linkup. I will be having another on Sunday with words and Scripture if you want to join.
Blessings,
Janis
Janis, thanks for letting me know. I'll look for it!
DeleteGreat post Mary! It's so much easier to take the route of retreating to our flesh...thanks for the reminder, we all need it! Thanks so much for linking up today...have a blessed evening!
ReplyDeleteMichell @Prowess and Pearls
Thanks Michell! You're right. It's so easy to give in to the flesh and say things that aren't edifying. God's word has so many great, practical ways to help us have a heart that pours forth grace. Thanks for hosting the linkup!
DeleteBlessings to you ~ Mary
Absolutely - our words are so important. Using our words to edify requires daily practice . Have an awesome evening!
ReplyDeleteIt certainly requires a close walk with the Lord for our words to convey "compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience". {Colossians 3:12}
DeleteThanks for coming by this evening! I appreciate that you took the time to comment!
Blessings to you ~ Mary
What a wonderful post. Thank you. Popping over from Thriving Thursdays Link Up. Have a blessed day. Tara.
ReplyDeleteThanks Tara! I'm so glad you popped over!
DeleteBlessings to you ~ Mary
Words of encouragement - so precious for everyone in our life, from the store clerk to our neighbor, friends, spouse and children. We all need to feel valued and uplifted. Lovely post - great reminder. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteThanks Lori. Our words are so powerful...life/death. A Word of encouragement can change the heart and possibly life direction of the one uplifted.
DeleteI'm so glad you came by today. I appreciate your comments!
Blessings to you ~ Mary
"look those immature 'ideals' of what life is supposed to look like in the eye, and tell them to get lost"
ReplyDeleteAmen, Mary. Frustration and discontent stew poison in us, and blaming everything around us for not being what we want is not a happy way to live.
Janet, I love 2 Timothy 2:22–25! It gives us such practical, powerful direction!
DeleteI appreciate that you came by today... and thanks for leaving a comment!
Blessings to you ~ Mary
I love that poem, I'm pinning it so I can find it again.
ReplyDeleteI love that poem too! I'm so glad I came across it so I could share it with you!
DeleteI've just visited your site... looking forward to checking out your ebooks!
Blessings to you ~ Mary
so often I failed at this - so often God came in and proved He is bigger than my mistakes! So thankful for that and how He has them forget those times. It is such a blessing hearing our grown sons speak about what an awesome and wonderful childhood they had. Only because of Him! Thank you for being a vessel for Him to encourage others. God so blesses.
ReplyDeleteDeby, I so hear what you're saying. I remember times when I thought I had 'ruined' our sons. I'm so thankful for God's forgiveness, grace, and redemption... They too talk of their 'awesome and wonderful' childhoods... I'm so blessed! {and relieved!}
DeleteI appreciate that you stopped by and took time to comment. Thanks for your encouragement!
Blessings to you ~ Mary
If only being a mom weren't so hard and so constant. And if only those things from our youth that keep us in bondage didn't take so long to break free from. God can change all of that, but sometimes our habits won't allow it, won't release the grip from the perfectionism and expectations we cling so tightly to.
ReplyDeleteKate, being a mom is an indescribable blessing, but certainly not for the faint of heart. Sometimes it demands more from us than we feel we're capable of giving... especially if we're perfectionists with unrealistic expectations. As a recovering {stubborn} perfectionist, I'm beyond thankful for His grace and forgiveness.
DeleteI'm glad you came by.
Blessings to you ~ Mary
What wonderful encouragement - your list works in all situations of parenting. Not every moment is a "you could have done better" moment - some moments' successes need to be savored and celebrated!
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you were encouraged. There's certainly a time for 'you could have done better', but when that becomes our default attitude... we miss countless opportunities to encourage, 'savor and celebrate'.
DeleteThanks for taking the time to come by and comment. I really appreciate it!
Blessings to you ~ Mary
thank you for sharing this is a lovely post, a great message to share. Hopping over from Michell's to leave some bloggy ♥ and follow along
ReplyDeleteKatherine, I'm so glad you hopped over for a visit. Thanks for taking the time to visit, comment and follow!
DeleteBlessings to you ~ Mary
Love this! Pinned it to our Thrive @ Home board on Pinterest. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Jenni! I love 'Thrive @ Home'!
DeleteHave a wonderful weekend!
Blessings to you ~ Mary
Thank you for this post. I find that sometimes I am the mother with a short temper who gets annoyed when my little girl won't listen to me. And then I find that I feel so guilty afterwards. I need to work on having a more loving heart. I always pray that my daughter and I will always be close, but I need to do my part too. Thanks for the points to ponder.
ReplyDeleteLinda, I think most of us can identify with you. I'm so thankful for God's glorious forgiveness and the resiliency of our children. Motherhood is such a perfecting process!
DeleteThank you for coming by today!
Blessings and joy to you ~ Mary
Thank you for sharing this encouraging post. Words are so important!!
ReplyDeleteJudith, I appreciate you coming by! You're always such an encouragement to me!
DeleteBlessings to you ~ Mary