This week is my husband's birthday! Yay! I see it as an opportunity to buy this fabulous man a much needed, new robe! Now, the robe I'm about to replace is an ancient, {I'm talking ooold} thread-bare, holey, frayed, almost transparent, falling apart, ready-for-the-rag-bag mess. Yep, that's how I see it.
Of course, my husband thinks his robe is the coziest, softest, most comfy, closest thing to perfection our Lord's ever created. Unfortunately, I really don't think it will last through another wash. {darn!}
The other night I stopped myself from doing a happy dance when he held up his tattered, beloved robe and bemoaned that even he thinks it's time for the rag-bag. {Oh yes, I'm doing a happy dance in my head!}
Well, after a lot of looking and praying, I finally found a robe I know he'll like! It's the same color, same material and the same style as his old robe! It's going to be so fun to see him tear through the wrapping paper and open the box!
Now, here's where my ADD mind made the jump to today's topic. As I was thinking of how super-pleased my guy's going to be when he's enveloped in this snazzy, perfect, like-old, new robe... my thoughts hopped to... what he'd really love is to be enveloped by the gift of your admiration! {OK Lord, I hear you!}
Yes, I admit that lately I've caught myself saying things to my husband {for his own good, of course!} that could be construed as critical. OK, I admit it; there's nothing construed about it! I've been a little naggy lately... And I know better! And I hate it!
So, I'm definitely writing this to myself. Yes, I've written about it before, but I obviously need to hear it again. And perhaps you need to hear it too. :)
In Ephesians 5:33, we’re told to respect our husbands.
The Greek word for respect is phobeo.
It means… wait for it… to
be in awe of, to revere. We’re supposed to put a high value on our men. When was the last time you made your man feel
you were in awe of him?! {She asks herself!}
One way to
place a high value on our men is
to pursue them through admiration.
Our men have a huge need
to be admired.
They’ll probably never say, “Honey, I need your
admiration.”
But we may hear them say, “Stop being
so critical.” {Hhmm, Mary?}
If our guys
feel unappreciated, we may find that they're
easily angered or they pull away and are emotionally removed.
They need to
know that we're their
biggest cheerleader not their biggest critic.
Some things we can do:
1. Pray and ask God to help you develop a deep reverence for your husband. And then, as you revere him, ask our Abba Father to help you find ways to pursue him through admiration.
2. Sincerely compliment him in front of others: your children, his/your parents, friends, and other men.
3. When he’s
with a group of men at church, pass by and say, “Hi handsome”... and keep on walking. Trust me, the other men will wonder what your
husband’s got that they don’t ‘got’! And your man will stand a little
straighter with a twinkle in his eye… for you! {I talked about this in an earlier post, but I really think it bears repeating!}
4. Tell him
you appreciate all his hard work. When
your man’s on the job, chances are good that he gets very little affirmation. He’ll usually hear when he's done something
wrong, but rarely when he’s done something right. {Just like at home?!}
5. If your
husband’s out of work or refuses to work, think of a quality that he has that
would be an asset in a career, and admire him for it. {good with people, tactful, organizational
skills etc.}
6. Don't be critical! Just. don't. do. it! {Mary, I'm talking to you!}
7. Tell him
he’s handsome. Not that he looks handsome in that shirt…
That he’s handsome! How it's said makes a difference!
8. When you
walk by, feel his biceps. Chances are
good he’ll automatically flex.
9. Tell him
you appreciate the size and strength of his hands.
10. Tell him
he’s a hunk.
11. Yes, compliment his mind, creativity, and intellect... But don't forget to admire his physical assets. :) Really.
12. Don't make a joke out of him. You know what I mean.
13. Don't contradict him in front of others. {including especially in front of your children} You don't like it, why would he? Wait until you're alone to discuss 'it'.
If because of
past hurts it’s difficult to show your husband admiration, or it’s difficult to
think of any qualities to admire; start small.
Today, right now, think of one small thing that you like
about your husband. Do you like the
color of his eyes? Then start
there. Do you like his smile? Then begin there. Do you like the way he maneuvers the car in
traffic? There you go. Really. Don’t move on until you’ve thought of
something. Now, ask God to soften your
heart and to give you the courage to tell him.
Life can get
crazy busy. Pursue him anyway.
Life can be
frustrating and disappointing. Pursue
him
through it.
The feeling
of love may be withering. Pursue him
like crazy.
The children
are wearing you out. Pursue him in
little ways.
Let your fountain be blessed,
and rejoice with the wife of your youth.
As a loving deer and a graceful doe,
let her breasts satisfy you at
all times;
and always be enraptured with her love.
Proverbs 5:18,19
Let's be the kind of women that our husbands delight in.
Let's be the wives that enrapture them with our love!
What do you admire about your husband?
How do you show him admiration?
When was the last time you told him how much you appreciate him?
Are you having trouble thinking of anything to admire?
Right now, think of just one small thing that you like about your husband.
I'd love to hear your thoughts!
Leave a comment!
Living in His grace,
Mary
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It's always so good to hear from you!
I love this quote. I’ve been asking God to soak my soul with its
truth... Asking Him to show me how to have His joy in the midst of sorrow and
pain. Because sometimes life is very hard, and pain very intense. How in the world is it possible to endure the
sorrows, challenges, disappointments, and pain of this life, and yet walk
drenched with His joy? 
