A blog where women are inspired and encouraged to grow in their relationship with Christ.

Monday, October 15, 2012

Emotional Give-Away


Source

OK, you’ve finally taken the plunge... You tore the picture of that cute new hairstyle out of the magazine and bravely took it to your stylist. After way too much hair lands on the floor, she spins you around and... Wow! She did an awesome job and you can’t believe how fabulous you look!  The next morning you go to church (feeling pretty darn confident) and you're greeted by a sweet sister in the Lord who, with furrowed brow says, “Oh my, you cut your hair... pause... what made you do that?”  Just that quickly, you’ve gone from feeling like a much improved, pretty woman, to an insecure ugly duckling.  You’ve just handed over your confidence to that sweet sister.

 



You’re having an especially fun time coloring with your little one at the coffee table in the family room. You take just a minute to quickly go around the corner to check on dinner, come right back in, and find your little darlin’... has turned your long-saved-for new couch into a colorful mural. Just that quickly, you’ve gone from happy mama to furious, raving lunatic mama. You’ve just handed over your peace to your little one.

Anytime we allow someone to ‘make’ us feel something, we relinquish power to them. When we allow a friend to grab our confidence, when we allow our child to steal our peace, or when we allow the crazy driver to steal our good mood, we're giving them control over our emotions. The truth is, no one  can make us feel something that we don't choose to feel.

Handing over power to others is so easy... it’s our natural response.  Choosing to take control of our emotions and not allowing them to be controlled by others can make for an extreme mental struggle. So what do we do?  Here are a few suggestions:

1.  It takes a lot of practice and reliance on our patient and powerful Lord. 
2.  Ask God to help you  become extremely aware of your thoughts.
     3.  Ask Him to help you to stop allowing others to determine how you feel.
4.  When you find yourself becoming angry or aggravated at someone,  ask God to help you choose to think as He would. 
      a. If someone inferred that His new hairstyle wasn’t such a great look, would He hand over His confidence and feelings of worth?  
      b. If He found your little darlin’ coloring all over His new throne, would He hand over His peace and become a raving lunatic? (No disrespect intended.)
It’s sounds nuts, but it’s exactly the kind of thing we might find ourselves doing!  
5.  The next time you find yourself saying “She makes me so mad!” stop and remind yourself that she can make you mad only if you choose to give her the power to make you mad.
6.  We must choose to surrender our thoughts to Him moment by moment.
7.  Commit Philippians 4:8-9 to memory.
8.  Be proactive: make a written list of true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy things. Be specific.
9.  When you find your emotions drifting out of control, pull out your list and meditate on it and "the God of peace will be with you."
 
"8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure,whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. 9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me--put it into practice. 
And the God of peace  will be with you."
My dear sister,  I'd like to ask you for two  favors. 
1.  Please go to the block of Google Friends over in the right column and click Join this Site. This doesn't subscribe you or obligate you to anything. It's just a way to let me know that you visited Woman to Woman. If you're reading this by email, you'll need to click Here to sign in. 
2.  Please click the Facebook Like button in the right column. (I love seeing your beautiful faces!)

Each woman who stops by WtoW (I'm talking about you!) is so precious to our Lord and to me. I can't tell you how much I appreciate your comments, emails, and FB messages. It's always so good to hear from you!

 Living in His grace!
Mary
I sometimes link  with these delightful ladies!

30 comments:

  1. Mary--yes, I am blessed and glad I stopped by. Happy to follow you back.
    As far as this post is concerned, some scripture verses really have immediate moment by moment application in so many situations.
    Phil 4: 8-9 is one of them.
    James 3:17 is another.
    The wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruit, without partiality, and without hypocrisy.

    I kept that taped to my desk for a whole year to help me deal with some particularly difficult students. It was a real life changer.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mrs. P, thanks so much for coming by and sharing James 3:17. It's a powerful scripture that I've often relied on. I can see where it would be helpful in dealing with 'difficult students'!

      Delete
  2. Thanks so much for posting this - needed this reminder today!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Michelle, I seem to need this reminder quite often! Thanks for stopping by!

      Delete
  3. Thanks for sharing. I often try to teach my children the same things, as I'm teaching myself.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Samantha, it's wonderful that your imparting God-pleasing principles into your children! God bless you!

      Delete
  4. This went so beautifully with some thoughts I have been working through about my own faith journey! Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh Beckey, I'm so happy to hear that perhaps God used something here to bless you. I don't know what you're going through, but I just prayed for you. Thank you for coming by!

      Delete
  5. Replies
    1. Denise, blessings to you as well. It was nice of you to stop by!

      Delete
  6. We can't control how others treat us, but with Holy Spirit guidance, we can control how we react. Phil. 4:8-9 has been on my heart since yesterday!
    Thanks so much for commenting on & following Saved by Grace! Your blog is a blessing, & I'm following you back!
    Love in Him,
    Laurie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Laurie, I'm so thankful that we're not left on our own, but have the Holy Spirit to guide and help us to walk in obedience to His word. I appreciate your site and I'm so glad you came by today!

      Delete
  7. This is awesome, Mary and a very important reminder!! Thank you so much for encouraging us to shift our perspective and let our faith drive our feelings-- not the other way around.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sharita, (beautiful name!) it's so easy to allow our emotions to be blown around by every wind that comes along. How wonderful of God to give us His word to grab onto! I'm on my way to visit you. Thanks so much for coming by!

      Delete
  8. Mary- Wonderful words. I'm reflecting on on "thinking of things that are true, lovely, admirable..." Great boundaries to remember in the midst of the day.
    I was next to you at WIP Wednesday.

    PS Have an appt tomorrow for a new haircut- laughing as I read your example.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Melanie, aren't those great words to reflect on?! God knows us so well... He knew we'd need clear direction as to where to put our wayward thoughts. Thanks for stopping by via WIP... I'm off to visit you!
      Good luck with the new haircut! I'm sure you'll look fabulous!!

      Delete
  9. This can be such a struggle--to stay calm when something triggers our insecurities or fears. Love your list of ways to deal with it too, Mary! Thanks for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Beth, you're right. It's not easy to take control of our thoughts and train our minds to think on the word of God. I'm so thankful for His word and His help! I'm glad you stopped in today!

      Delete
  10. "Commit Philippians 4:8-9 to memory." Yes, what a great set of words to know by heart. I know them in the King James' version, and I love how all the "whatsoevers" sound. :)

    Thank you for this.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jennifer, I love the KJV of that verse...the 'whatsoevers'! It's a wonderful verse to commit to memory. Thank you for coming by!

      Delete
  11. I needed this! Thanks for the encouragement... My emotion gets to control me sometimes and I feel helpless. This is going to be my memory verse for the week! Thank you!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Vivienne, it's certainly a beautiful verse to hold onto when our thoughts are out of control. I'm so glad you came by!

      Delete
  12. Ok so I read this post EXACTLY right after I slightly lost my peace...on my cat. lol My cat used the bathroom outside of the kitty box and I was feeling so happy and great and then when I saw that, I immediately was like NO! BAD KITTY! Once I clean it up and mumble and grumble under my breathe...I log on to Womanhood with Purpose Link up and I see your post and I read it and think...wow....the Lord is CLEARLY trying to talk to me. :)

    I'm glad that the Holy Spirit led me to your post because it couldn't have been more timely. I give my peace and my emotions so easily to other people-even animals and I am blessed to not HAVE to do that. I could easily maintain my emotions by trusting God to help me do that. This post was powerful and I will be sure to share it with others! Thank you for this!!

    www.TMECenter.org

    ReplyDelete
  13. Alexandrea, this made me laugh! You allowed your cat to take your peace... Last weekend, I allowed my granddogs to take my peace. Isn't it wonderful how the Holy Spirit shows us that through relationship with Him, nothing (not cat, dog, person, or event) can control our emotions and take our peace?!
    I'm so glad you came by! You brought a smile to my face!

    ReplyDelete
  14. I have to remind myself daily (unfortunately) that I have a choice let my emotions rule me or me rule over them. I'm bad at stuffing and then exploding, so I'm really working on letting how I feel come out in the moment so that it doesn't come out in one big explosion!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Alecia, I appreciate your honesty and self-awareness. Stuffing and exploding can be a tough pattern to break... I'm so thankful that our God will moment-by-moment show us how to change those patterns and help us keep our cool and our peace. I've so been there with the stuffing/exploding. I'm praying for you right now. God bless!

      Delete
  15. Beautifully written! Great tips and examples, thank you for sharing! Blessings!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Misty, Thank you for the encouragement! I'm so glad you came by!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Thank you so much for taking the time to write this post. You encouraged me tonight and I just wanted to stop and tell you!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Judith, I'm so glad you stopped by and glad you were encouraged... God's word is so refreshing! Blessings to you!

      Delete

Your comments mean so much to me. I love reading each and every one! Thanks so much!