When Trusting God Is Hard

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Today I feel as though I’m climbing a steep mountain heaped with jagged rocks and few hand-holds... A mountain I’ve climbed before and had hoped to never face again.  Even as I write this, I'm thinking, sheesh Mary, you're sounding a little dramatic.  Well, I'll be honest with you, I'm feeling a little dramatic... which is unusual for me. My usual coping technique is to minimize.  But not today...

Several years ago I developed nerve damage in my legs and feet.  My legs felt like they were continually being electrocuted and the bottoms of my feet felt like they were being crushed with broken glass.  It was a consistent, excruciating pain that lasted for over a year and then eventually calmed down to occasional outbursts.  The neurologists were baffled and the meds they tried gave little relief and increased my ever-present migraines.  And so I waited... and endured.  And through it all, I learned so much about the faithfulness and deep love of God.

Well, the jolting pain seems to be making a come back.  And to be honest, I'm tired, and I find myself a little OK, maybe more than a little afraid.  I love the honesty of David, and I’m relating to him in a very real way as he cried out,  "Save me, O God, for the waters have come up to my neck. I sink in the miry depths where there is no foothold. I have come into the deep waters; the floods engulf me. I am worn out calling for help;” 

(Psalm 69:1-3a)  Oh yes, I can relate!

I’ve asked myself if I can trust God... A God that would allow this to happen again?  Which is really asking, “God, are You worthy of my trust?”  And then I feel ashamed for asking... because I know that He is worthy of all trust.  Job said, "Though He slay me, I will trust in Him." Job 13:15a   I pray that I would trust Him.  p.e.r.i.o.d.  I pray that I would have a trust that supersedes health, finances, disappointments, heartaches, anything that He allows and satan and life throw my way.  And I pray this for you as well.

I not only love that David cries out to God with gut-deep honesty, but that throughout the Psalms, he reminds himself of the holiness and greatness of God.  And like David, (and with a lot of help from Jesus) I’m determined to remember who God is and what He's done for me.  I’m determined (with a lot of help from Jesus) NOT to allow satan to convince me that God isn’t worthy of my trust.   

Is there an area in your life where you're struggling to trust God?  

Together, let's tightly hold onto God's word which is swollen  

with beautiful, empowering, life-giving, life-sustaining riches. 

Let's remember that our peace is in Jesus and not in our circumstances.  “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart!  I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

Let's remember (as my sweet friend reminded me) that everything has purpose. "For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.”  2 Corinthians 4:17

Let's remember that this (fill in the blank) will not last forever. 

“Weeping endures for a night, but joy comes in the morning.”  Psalm 30:5

 

Let's remember that God commanded Joshua to “Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”  Joshua 1:9 

Let's remember that we don't belong to ourselves.  “You are not your own, you were bought at a price.”   
I Cor. 6:19b-20a

Let's remember that in giving all, we gain all.   

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.”   

Mark 13:30

Let's remember that His grace is sufficient... that in our weakness, His power is made perfect.  "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness."  2 Corinthians 12:9

Apart from the Lord's precious strength, I'm a weakling.  I pray that my determination will be strengthened by the Holy Spirit... to His glory.  

Are you or someone you love going through a rough time?  

I'd love to hear from you, and I would count it a privilege to be able to pray for you.

Living in His grace!
Mary

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